I’ve been this scary, are you frightened of me?

[16:41] nicole_953: Hello, I was looking at yahoo personals, i noticed your ad, anyways, yahoo thinks you are my top match.
[16:41] nicole_953: wanna see my picture and profile?
[16:42] Deadwhoreinabox: wait I’m really busy can I just give you a bunch of money first? I’d really like to see your profile, but I only have time to transfer funds at this point, what is your account number so I can just deposit the 7000 dollars I’d no doubt spend on you, directly into it?
[16:43] Deadwhoreinabox: You know that was rude of me, You must feel bad enough being the 953rd Nicole ever… And I’m sure your paid webcam / amatuer gay stripping hour profile will no doubt be worth any asking price
[16:45] Deadwhoreinabox: I feel so awful, you’re almost one of a thousand struggling anti-clothes oriented nicole’s just trying to make a buck in a foreign backwards ass country like haiti or canada I’m sure, and the money will no doubt go to fulfilling a lifelong dream of being a professional semen gargler, which I’m sure you’re way ahead of in practice
[16:47] Deadwhoreinabox: As such I make a pledge… nay, an OATH, no… A PROMISE that I will give you seven billion dollars to fund your awesome pay profile site to new heights this money will of course be tax free and allow you to live out your fancy albeit misguided online nudist fantasies. And I support the youth and as long as you’re buxom and between 18 and 25 and posessing an IQ over 143 then I think we can do business
[16:48] Deadwhoreinabox: Only such a smart girl would try every single profile number BEFORE 953 becuase of your true dedication to being YOU and showing your ta’ta’s to total strangers online, which of course is as noble an endeavor as I’ve ever heard of it. Internet slut… I SALUTE YOU!!
[16:48] Deadwhoreinabox: Hello? Where can I put these stacks of cash I’ve recently taken from my safe?
[16:49] Deadwhoreinabox: Please before my accountant notices that I’ve mortgaged my entire brokerage company to give to 953rd best nicole ever!? Why hast thou forsaken me. The lord giveth internet titties, the lord taketh away… Cruel gods above… WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
[16:49] *** nicole_953 has been ignored.

[10:19] WeaselBringer: pshaw since it won’t work, I would never do that anyway
[10:20] WeaselBringer: that’s immoral and wrong
[10:20] Striker: hehe
[10:24] WeaselBringer: http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=3264
[10:38] Striker: I would never fly with an airline that didnt let me keep my sword in the isle side of my seat
[10:38] WeaselBringer: what if you’re a lefty
[10:39] Striker: what if I was a lefty on the right side of the plane?
[10:41] WeaselBringer: what if you dual-wield
[10:41] WeaselBringer: or are ambidexterous and have a middle seat on overseas flight
[10:42] Striker: middle seats would mean people on each side

[10:49] WeaselBringer: okay so what if you use a katana and a short sword but favor your left but are seated against the bulkhead near the rear like a delta flight, and the terrorists have sai’s and they come from the right but leading with their weak hand, does that call for shurikens and are they even possible, or is it best to just attempt to cut through the old woman screaming blocking the path from your ‘Vibrating Dragon’ Stance? [10:54] Striker: 9 out or 10 girls prefer the "vibrating dragon" [10:57] WeaselBringer: yes but what do terrorists prefer?

[10:58] Striker: thats really up to the terrorist… the IRA likes C4, the arabs like sub machine guns, and Nick likes starbucks
[11:00] WeaselBringer: so let’s assume they’re garden variety arab ninjas… armed with ohhhh let’s say "Salad forks" and willing to do whatever it takes to get the plane to do a barrel roll. And you’re like a Type-B Ninja but have a haunted past from watching your parents killed when you were 7 and being raised by pandas that kill peoples parents and you recently made the connection
[11:02] Striker: how many pandas were in the ninja panda tribe?
[11:05] WeaselBringer: I never said they were ninja pandas only parent killing pandas, the ninja pandas are indigenous to malaysia and really only come out for the parades anymore. But I digress, there are 14 of the PK pandas and most of them taught to at least stand on their hind legs, ride a bicycle, and field strip an MP5 in a combat situation – However they are fond of eating trees during times of political tension… much like the ‘forest degradation during the soviet inhabitance of malaysia’ as you well know

[11:08] Striker: of course… any child would know that…. however, if the pandas weren’t ninjas, how did I get my Ninja type-B certification? I can hardly answer your question without all the details…. why, that would be like you asking me to bake you a chocolate cake and not specifying what type of mustard you want in it. [11:10] WeaselBringer: okay well we’ve all studied quantum mechanics enough to see what you mean with the mustard theory, however The B-Cert program is now offered by several prestigious Ninja colleges sprinkled around southern maine and most of detroit. You’d know this if you ever checked your secret decoder ring. But alas we’re off topic, details are unfixed, there is simply a type-B in a crisis situation #443-E (arab/ninja/delta flight) – And immediate action is required to insure the safety of the gigantic box of anthrax also housed on the plane which is flying 200 feet above the white house [11:16] WeaselBringer: any theories

[11:17] Striker: Oooh.. its a Delta Flight… that simplifies things a lot. As everyone knows, anthrax can be trained.. much like your common bath-tub variety dolphin. Keeping this in mind, it’s very likely that the delta pilot will have been trained by killer gorillas (who are the unlikely allies of the giant parent killing pandas). Therefore, its a simple matter of making the anthrax fly the plane while the pilot and ninja type-b shoot all the non-terrorist passengers. When they are all dead, it will be easy to identify who the terrorists are which will make it much easier to take them out

[11:20] WeaselBringer: I see! Then it’s a simple sweep and clear with heavy use of chemical warfare and the anthrax can radio ahead to assemble a fleet of coroners to distribute points, all the bases are covered! You’re a genius, you make it sound so simple, delta pilots are inherently trigger happy anyway and anthrax I hear has become more friendly over the years, I have to notify the president, let me use my super-secret cock-ring phone to dial Don Adams, He WON’T believe this! You should teach this stuff you know

[11:25] Striker: I am an occasional guest speaker at the university of oxford, although my 2 hour speech on “painful ways of killin’ foo’s who dun be fuckin’ wit mah shit” is only a very small part of the “how to draw pretty pink bunny rabbits” class
[11:25] WeaselBringer: ah but a inspired lecture to be sure