10:37:04 AM Cliff: So you diggin the MW2 action? 11:30:47 AM weaselbringer: it’s pretty fricking rad 11:30:58 AM weaselbringer: doubt I’ll play it multiplayer 11:31:09 AM weaselbringer: but i’ll probably do the SP campaign twice 11:47:22 AM Cliff: Yeah, I’m hooked. The whole attack on america thing is pretty wild. Not that I’m proud that [...]

There is a man standing at a desk, with his hands pushed flat and hard against the mahogany wood. His gaze is steely and his lips are drawn into a tight line. “Allright guys, here’s the plot to Duke Nukem Forever” “Finally!” The coder from 3dRealms thinks to himself. They’ve been preparing and tweaking and [...]

This is a continuation of “Stupid Video Game Plots” which focused on the odd and generic storylines that are so deeply embedded in video game plots. 1. Silent Protaganist (…) In many games the hero of the game is made to represent you. Since the game doesn’t know what you’re going to say it simply [...]

That’s not to say there isn’t a huge surplus of stupid video game plots, some of them are so generic I can apply them to dozens of games simultaneously. So we’ll start with the general plots. 1. In Space, with Aliens. As Halo, Space Siege, Starcraft, and about a billion other games will tell you. [...]

Time and time again I read about the objectification of women in Video games. How real women don’t actually have quadruple D breasts and the ability to backflip through the air in a miniskirt while slaughtering thousands. Well you know what, I don’t CARE. Jesus Christ people, ease up a bit will you? From the [...]

All the problems of a mustachioed Italian plumber and his plucky brother don’t amount to a hill of mushrooms in this mixed up crazy world. We’ve all watched Mario break countless bricks, collect billions of coins and generally roll around in the spotlight while Luigi cries and masturbates to 8-bit photos of Princess Peaches’ snatch [...]

Attention all gamers! You may or may not know of “The Game Dame” But she’s a deadly beautiful gamer-geek-girl who can frag your heart into little tiny gibs. So rarely does someone fill my life bar like her, that I had to do an interview. So without further ado, I present the exclusive “GAME DAME [...]