When I was about 15 or 16 I went to a school dance in Cloverdale. Cloverdale has a population of about 3000 (or it did at the time) and was the very definition of “Podunk”. I had been invited there by a girl named Stephanie, who I was fairly certain was going to let me [...]

(Or How I conquered Racism, all by myself) Dear Readers, Far be it from me to take time on a simple blog to explain my own convoluted ideas, or preconceptions. But one thing I’ve always hated, as a vague patriot of our unsettled country , is the French. I don’t know where my hatred of [...]

A lot of people probably say they fall in love with strippers. After all, any single guy wandering into the smoky den of the strippers gets undue attention, surrounded by beautiful women and treated probably nicer than any girl has ever treated them. But I don’t fall for them, I realize their amazing and random [...]

So apparently the good lord above has deemed it necessary to infiltrate my iTunes playlist to show me the errors of my ways. Let me explain. Like any good american under 30, I don’t pay for music. About the time Microsoft and Apple started slapping DRM on everything is when I just stopped caring about [...]

The Year is 2093. Nanotechnology has progressed to enhance and improve every aspect of our lives. Technology in general has permeated every level of human existence from genetically engineered birth to a greatly extended life-span, to a carefully planned death. I have time travelled here to explore the future of humanity, the evolution of society, [...]

The Story of a Fish Having sex with a Frisbee. Two of the greatest friends in the world were sitting in a sunny park on a bench one day. Their names were Elocution and Vernacular and one said to the other. “Vern, I’ve invented a machine that turns things into other things” He said this [...]